Band Probs (seems like there's alot of people with them)

[thelonewolf]

Hey guys. Here's my story... I've been in this band since this past May. At first it was cool because we learned material really fast and accurate and after a month started gigging. Anyway stuff's happened and we don't do much anymore. Our singers become a pain, started dating my friends 14 year old sister (singer's 18), and has had a really cocky attitude that he's the best singer even though he's become pretty bad since we started. Our drummer dosn't and hasn't really cared about playing gigs even though we told him that we were going to when we first started so he's become lazy. Our bassist is the coolest one but his prob is that he works at least 4 days a week. Only me and the bassist really practice and try to organize stuff and if me and the bassist weren't friends I would've already left. Well anyway the other day i was at school waiting for my English class that wasn't for another four hours. So i got my guitar, went to the student union and started practicing. This guy saw me and came talk to me about music related stuff. Turns out we had the same musical influences and stuff and that he was also looking for some people to start a band with him. (He also plays guitar and has a bassist and keyboardist lined up). I went jam with the three of them the other night and it was really fun. So here's the prob... I don't know if I should just quit my current band and join these guys and hope we find a drummer and singer or if i should just stay with my band and try to work through the problems so we can get back to where we used to.... (Sorry about the length and stuff i just had to get all that out of my head)

[sugarbee]

I'd say, talk to your present band members about the problems and tell them, you want to make it work, because what you had going before was really awesome and you want to get that back again, but that if they don't take it seriously and try to make things work then you will begin to persue other interests. You don't have to drop the band, just make it so that it's not as high a priority. That way, maybe they'll come to their senses and realise that if they want to keep you they have to get it together, And if they don't, or until they do, you persue your other opportunities, and that way, you will be able to figure out what works out best for you.

[Malcolm]

Relationships, that’s hard. Mainly because it is based on trust, break the trust and you break the relationship.

Fishing, watching action movies, jamming on the back porch to my CD’s, that’s fun.

It’s all those other people. People make it hard. But that’s all we have around us, people.

The Golden Rule is normally right. Ask your self how you would like this handled if you were on the receiving end. Level with the guys, which ever way you decide let them know what you are doing and why. That way the trust is not broken and the friendship can go on.

Works for me --- 48 years of marriage to the same woman.

[rmuscat]

well if i may add to the very precious advice Malcolm gave us ... the golden rule is actually valid anywhere, anytime and in practically any situation.

If only all the planet reasoned that way.

Cool tip Malcolm!

[tseegert]

From someone who went thru a similar situation; do what you feel is right. I stayed with the same band for 9 years, all the while the situation was declining. The singer was getting worse and worse at his job, the drummer started losing interest, and the bassist decided he wanted to be a primary writer in the band... (which wouldnt have been an issue, if he actually wrote something decent).
What did I learn? 1. Time (at least for the purpose of this post) only continues in one fashion---forward. If music is something you want to do in a professional capacity, surround yourself with like-minded people, i.e., professionally minded people. Friends are valuable, but so are your goals and time.
It boils down to what you want, and what you're willing to do to get it. I had to kick my own brother out of my band, and he resented me for a long time after that. But, he was in it casually at best, whereas it remains a big priority in my life. He eventually understood where I was coming from.
It can be a very rewarding experience being a musician, it can also be hell. But in the long run, you get out what you put in, just like anything else.

[whopwooper]

Creative people can really be demons WHAT! the world is a wonderfull place with colourful clever people, some just get a bit too clevere for their own good ;-)