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Thread: "Finding people to play with" or "Wannabe musicians suck"

  1. #1
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    Angry "Finding people to play with" or "Wannabe musicians suck"

    *sigh* where to begin...

    Okay, I've been playing guitar for close to 3 years now and I'm not the best but I'm not the worst either (I don't think).

    However, my problem is finding people to play with. I have co-workers that all play guitar but getting them to actually play is like pulling teeth. They bring their guitars in to work and just let them sit and I wind up playing my myself during my lunchbreak. But everytime I pick up my guitar to try a riff that I heard in a song, everyone wants to grab my guitar and practice. I'm like "WTH your guitar is sitting right there! Play it!" Then there's the people that visit from our other facility that persist in rattling off the names and types of all the "Expensive" instruments that they have...but when you ask them about what they last played, all they can do is repeat the names of their gear. To me, this screams "I have a bunch of expensive art sitting in my basement or hanging on the walls".

    So, after realizing that no one I come into contact with on a daily basis is ever going to do anything worthwhile with their instruments, I decided to look elsewhere for someone to play with. I came upon an ad for a christian band. The ad was for a guitarist for their band. As I am a christian and a guitarist...I answered. When I arrived with my guitar for the interview, the bass player asks me to play bass so that he can learn guitar. (Another WTH moment) But I didn't care, I just wanted to play with some people and as they had a whole band I figured that would be better AND i could learn a new instrument. Well, 2 gigs, 15 songs and 4 months later...they tell me that I'm getting dropped from the band cause my skill on the bass isn't progressing fast enough. (ANOTHER WTH moment!!!) I mean, I had never touched a bass before they asked me to play it. How the heck do you expect me to get to professional-level playing bass in less than 4 months!?!
    I mean, seriously...get off the crack. So I said whatever and walked...

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not being prideful or anything but I just can't believe that there isn't someone else out there that is learning as well that would like to have someone to play with.

    So far, the only time I've found that is when I hired this college kid to teach me some things on guitar and I wound up teaching him! I was paying him 50 dollars an hour to jam with him and teach him the things I knew on guitar. Needless to say, after 2 lessons going that route I told him that I couldn't pay him anymore to teach him, but if he wanted to get together and jam that was kewl.

    Never heard from him again...

    I play lead guitar in church but they just don't understand the guitar cause all they know is "Piano/keyboard, Drums and singers". For instance, we had an event for our church last sunday where people from other churches were visiting and when I was playing people were looking at me like I was an alien or something. It's so bizarre to see their faces because I can see that they like what I'm playing but they just can't accept me as being a part of the music. I get the same flak from the rest of the musicians too. The keyboardist wants me to follow him and what he is playing all the time. I have to constantly remind him that I'm:
    1. Playing a guitar.
    2. Not slash.
    3. Not a noodler.

    I mean, seriously...he's been playing keyboard since he was 4 (19 now) and is like frickin beethoven on the keyboard and is always all over the place. So he and the drummer wind up doing their thing and I'm on the outside as usual. I never get qued for key changes while the songs are being played and no one ever even lets me know when choir/band rehearsal is. If I didn't ask or show up I would never be in it.

    Yeesh, I'm just looking for someone who plays as much as I do everyday or is at least interested in jamming. I mean, is everyone THIS self conscious and/or pathetic? I'm just trying to find my place in this musical world but the more I look, the more I hate what I'm seeing. yet I read all of these wonderful stories of people finding others to play with and having all this fun. Right now I don't believe a word of it. I'm as alone in this world musically as I was when I was born into this life.

    Dangit,
    Dm

  2. #2
    Artistically Bankrupt
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    There are two ways of lookng at it.

    1) You are normal and everyone else has a problem.

    2) You are abnormal.

    The smart money is on #2 for this and almost any other situation wherein you wonder what is wrong with everyone else. You know... there is nothing wrong with being abnormal, by the way.

    "So, after realizing that no one I come into contact with on a daily basis is ever going to do anything worthwhile with their instruments..." I bet they DO do something worthwhile with their instruments. They probably enjoy themselves, which is the only reason for their instruments' existences. The fact that they are not as heavily into it as yourself shouldn't bother you at all.
    "If a child learns which is jay and which is sparrow, he'll no longer see birds nor hear them sing."

  3. #3
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    Thats a point.
    I guess I'm just obsessive over my playing...

    And abnormal.
    But I like it.

    Dm

  4. #4
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    at this point you've out grown them it sounds like. your not better or worse. You have a different agenda find your next step and you will be happier

  5. #5
    Registered User Malcolm's Avatar
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    I mean, seriously...he's been playing keyboard since he was 4 (19 now) and is like frickin beethoven on the keyboard and is always all over the place. So he and the drummer wind up doing their thing and I'm on the outside as usual.
    Most classical keyboard players need their music or they are lost. He may be playing from memory, and only knows certain pieces and has no clue how to jamm. Or....
    I never get qued for key changes while the songs are being played
    If they are not telling you the next selection is in G, sounds like they do not understand the fundementals of playing with others. That's basic with any band. Which may answer the next.........
    and no one ever even lets me know when choir/band rehearsal is. If I didn't ask or show up I would never be in it.
    That in itself tells you everything. That is how we drop band members we do not enjoy playing with -- they are not sent the schedule -- a suttle hint, but, after not receiving the schedule several times they get the message.

    Sorry, seems that group and you have a problem - move on.
    Last edited by Malcolm; 04-10-2009 at 01:12 PM.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaljustice83
    at this point you've out grown them it sounds like. your not better or worse. You have a different agenda find your next step and you will be happier
    Yes, I have to find others on my level that I can play with. Well, no, I take that back. I have to find others that are as enthusiastic that I can play with. Because at this point, I wouldn't mind playing with anyone that was better or worse than me, as long as they were interested in playing.

    Dm

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malcolm
    Most classical keyboard players need their music or they are lost. He may be playing from memory, and only knows certain pieces and has no clue how to jamm. Or....
    Well, he is self taught. So he couldn't play a specific note on the keyboard if you asked him where it was. But if you asked him to play a song he could do it up like a professional. All he needs is to learn his music theory and lessons and he would be awesome though...

    Quote Originally Posted by Malcolm
    If they are not telling you the next selection is in G, sounds like they do not understand the fundementals of playing with others. That's basic with any band. Which may answer the next.........
    Well, I know that everyone else has learned how to play without any training. I don't ask them what key they are playing in because they don't even know. I can tell them but they can't tell me. They just make sounds and expect everyone else to follow along. There is no sheet-music for the things we play in church...lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Malcolm
    That in itself tells you everything. That is how we drop band members we do not enjoy playing with -- they are not sent the schedule -- a suttle hint, but, after not receiving the schedule several times they get the message.
    Well, they can try but they can't stop me. I'm good enough that I can play along with any song that I hear. And I understand music theory so the drummer can't throw me off by changing the timing and I can follow along with key changes good enough that I'm only a note behind.
    The more crap they put me through, the better I become!

    Quote Originally Posted by Malcolm
    Sorry, seems that group and you have a problem - move on.
    Well, there's a problem alright...but I'm no quitter. I love playing guitar and I will do it as long as I have the strength to. The only way that I'm going to ever stop playing at church is if I hear it from the pastor himself. No other "Member" is going to stop me or stand in my way for long. They may slow me down but they can't stop me. I'm too smart and too strong to let that happen.

    Thanks Malcolm.


    Dm

  8. #8
    Latin Wedding Band Los Boleros's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Detman101
    The only way that I'm going to ever stop playing at church is if I hear it from the pastor himself. No other "Member" is going to stop me or stand in my way for long. They may slow me down but they can't stop me. I'm too smart and too strong to let that happen.
    Alot of people in church are super nice and don't always tell you what you need to hear. Although the words aren't being said, the message is loud and clear.

    It sounds like you really need to move one. Its not a good match for you and forcing it will just create a bad vibe.

    Run an add and find your own group of people to make your own music. Then when you are tight, work on creating your own base of fans that will appreciate your music.
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  9. #9
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    Blind ambition is probably the worst thing you could do to yourself musically. I'm not trying to be mean. Please don't take it the wrong way. But if you don't get along w/ the other people in the group there is no point in going on.

  10. #10
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    well, if i were you never let anyone barrow you're guitar you don't to hear them saying that it is just a gear.

  11. #11
    Registered User xyzzy's Avatar
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    If there are any Open Mikes going on in your area, they can be a great way of coming into contact with other musicians, especially in smaller more casual venues. Work up a few sitting-by-yourself-on-a-stool type songs and show up. Sometimes someone will offer to join in and add a lead to someone else's rhythm and vocals, or the odd dobro bass or mandolin player might join in. Or you offer to add a little lead for someone else. It's less of a blind crapshoot than Craig's List. Just a thought.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blutwulf
    There are two ways of lookng at it.

    1) You are normal and everyone else has a problem.

    2) You are abnormal.

    The smart money is on #2 for this and almost any other situation wherein you wonder what is wrong with everyone else. You know... there is nothing wrong with being abnormal, by the way.

    "So, after realizing that no one I come into contact with on a daily basis is ever going to do anything worthwhile with their instruments..." I bet they DO do something worthwhile with their instruments. They probably enjoy themselves, which is the only reason for their instruments' existences. The fact that they are not as heavily into it as yourself shouldn't bother you at all.
    You said they do do something worthwhile. ROFL!!!! LOL!

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