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Thread: New piece

  1. #1
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    New piece

    So this is my latest little composition. It's part of a sort of musical-story I'm doing as a personal project. The theme is this - you're falling through the sky, high up, free of any cares. Then you hit the ground, and all of a sudden, you find yourself in a damp, dark, ominous area. Any feedback? It's a rough draft, so I'm looking for constructive criticism. Thanks

    http://www.zshare.net/audio/750993733b608c26/

  2. #2
    Registered User Malcolm's Avatar
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    Good effort. I liked - I'll call it the layers of melody in the first part. The melodic riff repeats itself, once too often. The switch at 1:25 does not relate, perhaps it should not, but, without a narrative of what is happening it comes off as just two separate pieces - IMO. You explained that, however, Lyrics or a visual aid of what is happening would be necessary for those hearing it with out your explanation.

    A keeper, flesh it out.
    Last edited by Malcolm; 04-18-2010 at 02:29 PM.

  3. #3
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    Yeah I see what you mean about the two pieces not really relating, and being odd if you don't know the story behind the music. Originally the two parts were two separate songs, and I figured it'd be interesting to mesh them together. I think in the future I'm going to make them separate tracks, I feel like both parts end too abruptly. Thanks for the comments Malcom, keep'm coming guys

  4. #4
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    i found solo although was not bad, i found it kind of just went on and on, i'd work on my phrasing for that part, it was kind of like it was all blending together without really resolving to me, like someone rambling on talking but rambling and not saying much.

    for me hitting the ground effect, i would speed up and speed up the tempo and up the volume and make some sort of crashing loud stop that would evolve into your other part. the fade out, to me, gives more a feeling of like rising, or slowly drifting off rather than splatting on the pavement.

    for art you can do whatever you want. but song wise you generally want to start slow have a catchy hook, and finish quick on a big climax. like a story, intro, body, conlcusion. long first part, and quickly climax and end.

    the way this tune ended, to me, didn't climax really, it was just something and then something else for a while and then it was done.

    you did a great job on the recording and stuff like that, i thought your mixing and stuff was really good, great sounding.

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