I took classes, I got some private instruction and I studied technique. I learned to play some songs, note by note but had zero sense of rhythm. No sense of the real music in the sound I was playing. After 20 years of frustration I gave my guitars away. That was 5 years ago.
Today a guitar happened to fall into my hands. It made me think back to how hard I had tried and how I had failed at something I clearly had a passion for.

I would like to start over. But I need to do it differently some how. I don't want to just start playing notes and chords. Somehow I need to start by listening and feeling. Somehow I need to hear the sound, feel the sound. Somehow, I need to unlearn my engineer's mechanical note playing and learn to create a direct connection between the music and my fingers.

I have no idea how to do what I am trying to put into words. I watch my son who has never had a lesson in his life, yet he can listen to a song on the radio and figure out how to play it on the guitar. That astounds me because I could never do it.

I think of I could learn to do that, then I would be closer to where I want to be. But there is something in my brain that can't seem to make this kind of connection.

I would truly appreciate any and all suggestions.