I'm having trouble creating simple songs

[bball_1523]

Yes, but you're doing it now... soon?

hopefully by tonight if I can motivate myself.

[bball_1523]

Alright here's my song:

http://streamer.soundclick.com/jerry...icinaminor.mp3

if that doesn't work, then go to www.soundclick.com/apband

I recorded this song in one take, so there are plenty of mistakes, but you can still hear the overall song structure with its chords.

Here is my final structure: Song is in A minor

Intro: A min
Intro Chorus: Am-FM7-Dm-Em
Verse: Am-FM7-Dm-FM7-Dm
Chorus: Am-FM7-Dm-Em-Am
Verse: same as above
Chorus: same as above except ending on Em
Interlude: Dm-Aaug (I couldn't help it, I wanted to make it a little interesting at least)
Chorus
Outro: Am plucked once

- What do you guys think? Is my structure written right? What changes should I make to make it fit a working song structure in A min?
- I will re-record the entire song to make it sound more clean and will add more to it to make it sound the way I want, but first I want to establish a simple song structure.

[Apple-Joe]

Listening to the song now. Nice plucking in the beginning. Defines the mood. I like the atmosphere created by the FM7 chord that follows.

The augmented chord in the interlude also worked. It spiced up the overall atmosphere.

In general, the entire piece was very musical. Another thing which makes it all more impressive, is the fact that the only instrument present is the single guitar. If you some time add a bass line, maybe a keyboard, drums etc. - the sound will be very rich and good.

It seems like you know what you're doing. Keep it up!

[bball_1523]

Listening to the song now. Nice plucking in the beginning. Defines the mood. I like the atmosphere created by the FM7 chord that follows.

The augmented chord in the interlude also worked. It spiced up the overall atmosphere.

In general, the entire piece was very musical. Another thing which makes it all more impressive, is the fact that the only instrument present is the single guitar. If you some time add a bass line, maybe a keyboard, drums etc. - the sound will be very rich and good.

It seems like you know what you're doing. Keep it up!

thanks for the feedback.

What do you think about the interlude in relation to the key of A min?

I was going to add a key change at the end of the song, one that would make the song sound dark and depressing. You think I should tweak it around?

Once I get my keyboard soon, I will add some atmospheres and piano.

[Apple-Joe]

thanks for the feedback.

What do you think about the interlude in relation to the key of A min?

I was going to add a key change at the end of the song, one that would make the song sound dark and depressing. You think I should tweak it around?

Once I get my keyboard soon, I will add some atmospheres and piano.

What ever you do; don't limit yourself. Incorporate your ideas, and see what happens. If it doesn't work, don't move on with it, and return to your previous
level.

[Cancatis]

It does sound good =) It made me remember the time I was addicted to Pink Floyd haha
You're in the good way, returning to the basics to construct your compositional skill.

Remember that... to get to The Odyssey, Romeo wrote Absynth and Rue and Raging Season, which suc... ok, are okay, but there's nothing new there.

[bball_1523]

It does sound good =) It made me remember the time I was addicted to Pink Floyd haha
You're in the good way, returning to the basics to construct your compositional skill.

Remember that... to get to The Odyssey, Romeo wrote Absynth and Rue and Raging Season, which suc... ok, are okay, but there's nothing new there.

no way man!! absinthe and rue/raging seasons are awesome. They may more simpler song structures, but they are still played well and have some great interludes, especially that soft bassy interlude in absinthe! haha If I was write simpler song structures, I wish I could do it like Romeo. He seriously has this magic touch in his compositions.

What do you I can do with the song I have constructed? You think I should add electric guitars? drums? synth pads?

[Cancatis]

Hehehe glad to know that i could provoke this reaction in you =)

Yeah, they are great songs, but remember... not so... progressive. They are like power metal songs wanting to go prog. And also, they have the same structure above all... I dont see it as a strong point there. But yeah, the riffs and ideas are awesome =) [And yes, I 'strangelly' like Rod Tyler weird vocals haha]

About instrumentation, maybe an ethereal pad would go okay. Drums are almost... 'listen-able' in your mp3, cause you already made all the breaks and such there. I was listening to Dark Side yesterday... 3x in a row. haha. Maybe one of that high-flanging guitars are what you need. Give it a shot and see how it comes out.

But I'd suggest you to write a melody first. =)

[bball_1523]

alright, I gotta think of a good melody.

[Cancatis]

So how is it doing?

[bball_1523]

So how is it doing?

not that great, I haven't put any effort into it since replying above.

[jade_bodhi]

bballer:

I listened carefully to your tune. It's good. I think the overall structure is good. In terms of chord structure, it is complex, moreso than a lot of other songs. There are no unusual chords except for the augmented A, and the result is tha all parts of the song stick together pretty closely; there is a sameness to the sound of each part. Maybe that is what you refer to as "boring." One thing I notice is that each chord change is played for four beats. I'm pretty sure that rhythm doesn't vary at all for the entire song, and that gives the entire composition a sameness, and it might also be what causes you to say it is "boring." Whatever melody you lay over this kind of rigid chord structure will also have a sameness to it. It's easy to fall into the habit of imposing a rigid rhythm like this when the first step in composing is coming up with the chord structure. I usually write chord arrangements first, and I have to always remind myself to avoid this pitfall.

I don't know if you'll be interested in revising the four-beats-per-chord structure of this song, but imagine what your verse would sound like if played this way:

Am(4beats) FM7 (8beats) Dm(2beats) FM7(2beats) Dm(4beats)


Those rhythm changes would completely change the feel of the song in this part. You may not want to revise this song in this way because doing such revision might bring the tune far from where you want it to go. I only offer my suggestion because paying attention to variety of rhythm and chord structure has helped my songwriting.

JB